proof positive that men don't listen
It's official. Mr. M doesn't listen to a word I say. Sound familiar? Girls, does your significant other only appear to be listening attentively when he is actually off in another world thinking about, oh, I don't know, maybe his bank balance/what's for dinner/girls stuck in the mud? Here's what happened to me last weekend.
Mr. M: I brought you a present!
Me: Oooh, thank you! What is it?
Mr. M: Here.
Me: Oh...it's a...jar of mustard.
Mr. M: Well, I know how much you like mustard. But you're not looking all that happy. Is something wrong?
Me: No, no, nothing wrong. It was very sweet of you, even if it's actually YOU who adores mustard. I like it just fine, though. It's just that I'm pretty sure we already have several jars in the fridge. Remember we talked at length about trying to go easy on the condiments because they take up so much room? Remember the Absolute Condiment Verbot?
Mr. M: Oh, um, yeah, I guess I forgot. Yeah, that's it. And besides, I really thought we were out of mustard. You sure we still have some?
Me: I'm positive.
Twelve containers of mustard. Twelve. Three squeeze bottles and nine jars. German, French, Swedish, Danish. Mild, spicy, grainy, herbed. A mustard for every possible occasion and taste.
I'm just hoping this condiment hoarding thing isn't hereditary.
On a brighter note: it's December and that means only one thing - cookies! You can NEVER have too many cookies. Stay tuned...
Labels: cookies, men who don't listen, mustard
posted by christina @ 10:10 PM
35 comments
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35 Comments:
Men hear what they want to hear. Nothing more. Nothing less.
You should be so lucky to have so much mustard. As my old dad used to say to me 'You can never have too much mustard!' :)
Tom too. I should send you a photo of the shelves in the door of our fridge... filled to the BRIM with condiments!
And the listening part... um, yeah -- that too!
Carol
You are right. Men (husbands in particular), do not listen. I asked Hubby what time he needed to get up to go skiing today. He said 6 AM. So I set the alarm, got up and made the coffee and what did he say to me? "I said 6:30." He didn't, and I know it, but then I wonder what he actually thought I said?
That's a very impressive mustard collection you have there. Such overachievers, you and Mr. M. Looking forward to those cookies.
Very, very funny! You forgot a few things in the list of what men are thinking about -- aren't we always told it's sex?? LOL!
Well, that made my day! At least you can look at it with a sense of humour. :)
Makes me glad I don't have ~
(a) any condiments in my fridge
(b) any blokes "listening"
Seems to me this week is going to be one mustard fest over in the Mausi Hausi. Go on, treat them!
(Or perhaps sticking with cookies is best. December is a sweet month, after all.)
...mmm? what's that you say?
Impressive collection!! At least you don't have two of the same kind already in use! because men are blind when they open the fridge: they can't find what they are looking for. Maybe that explains all the jars...chances of finding mustard in the fridge are increased that way!
That is hilarious! 12 jars of mustard.
Oh bow down to the queen of Mustard!! That is too funny. After the packers left I had to clean out the fridge - condiments filled the bin, mustard among them, but it was the char sui sauce, the fish sauce, the soy sauce, the 17 different types of oils and vinegars and the 3 bottles of tomato sauce that seemed a bit extreme.
Looking forward to those cookies!!
Too funny! Looks like someone subscribed you to the "Mustard of the Month" club. I have that same feeling sometimes when it comes to conversations with my husband, but he's the anti-hoarder so nothing as interesting as this happens, usually.
I envy your mustard collection.. mind you i've just looked in the cupboard after the man of the house went to the supermarket yesterday and we now have 13 tins of tuna..
I agree. Not only do they hear what they want (unless of course, you say what they wanna hear), but they are blind.
- We're out of mayo.
- No, Hon, we have 2 jars in the pantry.
- Where!?
LOL! Happy cookie baking :)
Lol, yup you sure have enough mustard. Around here though my husband accuses me of not listening to him. Cookies, can't wait to see what you bake. I bought 8 pounds of butter yesterday to get ready for my baking marathon...ciao
V-grrrl does something nice with mustard and honey slathered on turkey pieces and roasted ...
Great you had proof eh, the other production defect I've noticed in large slices of the male population is that if you can't prove it, they didn't say/doubted they said/or they're sure you misunderstood because you weren't listening properly.
Oh I am scarred.
I have to admit I laughed although I am but a man. But it also made me think of the old Beatles song where John Lennon sings about "Mean Mr Mustard" on the Abbey Road album. Very funny, Christina! :-)
Perhaps you could make mustard cookies. ;-p
Have you seen Slingblade? Get out the biscuits and french fried potatoes...
Der Trend geht zum Zweitkühlschrank :-) Just last summer we broke down and bought a new refrigerator for similar reasons, and put the old fridge down in the basement to catch the overflow.
Can't wait to hear about the cookies!
What? No Gulden's?!!!
You send that man *right* back to the supermarket.
Christina, you're killing me here! (In a good way.) That's a lot of mustard!
When Shane deigns to go grocery shopping (which he hates), he inevitably returns with a bag full of things we already have. And then opens the new jars before he finishes off the old ones.
*long-suffering sigh*
LOL!! 12 bottles of mustard is pretty darn impressive! Why would he think this is a gift? Honey, this does not bode well for Christmas.
I agree with Claire that it appears that your husband made need some direction for Christmas. Maybe you could write him a dear Santa letter? I still remember vividly the year my father gave my mother an iron for Christmas.
I'm thinking ... mustard cookies.
At least he wasn't asking to smear it on you, right?
How in the world did you manage to get all the way down here, sneak into our fridge, and take pictures of our mustard collection without me noticing??? ;-)
I think Mr M and Rainer were separated at birth!
That is one of the funniest, and truest things! The fridge at home has the exact same problem!
My mother would have had apoplexy had she seen so many jars of mustard open at once! Remember the days when you could only have one packet of cereal open at a time? Or one bottle of sauce? Well, that's how it was when I grew up anyway, back in the dark old days when we had to read by candlelight and got sent down the mines to work when we turned 7!
You are absolutely hysterical, Christina! The thing is, if Mr. M likes mustard so much, how come there are so many bottles left?
Sugar pie, you don't have any Bautz'ner Senf. Your collection isn't complete until you have some Ossi mustard. Heh!
Oh yeah? Well women can't parallel park. So there.
I'm sorry, you were saying something?
You don't even have any Maille Dijon mustard in the collection ... such a pity.
LOL, I laughed so hard when I saw the first photo of mustard jars, then even harder when I realized there was a second photo. I've honestly never seen so many types of mustard in one refrigerator. I think we have two: Dijon (mine), plain (his).
I found your blog because I'm googled "guten rutsch + hebrew" - and found your entry from a few years ago.
anyways, your style pulled me right in so I click to 2007 and start reading and reading ... and this one on the mustards has me HOWLING. the photographs are hilarious!!
I'm typing this at 6:33PM ET - so you've passed over into 2008 over there in good old Germany. hope it was einen guten Rutsch!
Glenda
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