Friday, April 21, 2006

we are not amused

So yeah, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Ruler of the Commonwealth Realm (= Canada and a bunch of other countries I can't quite recall at the moment) is celebrating her 80th birthday today and because she's my very favourite monarch of all time (Really! I adore her!), I'm sipping a glass of sherry in her honour. I wonder if she'd be amused at what I'm going to talk about in this post? I'm not sure how the Queen feels about 'the footy'. I know for a fact she's fond of dogs and horses, but I don't know if she's been following the preparations for the FIFA World Cup 2006.

Since I seem to have sold my soul to the direct marketing devil, I get tons of German mail order catalogues in my mail box on a monthly basis whether I want them or not. I like the big name ones and do order stuff from them so I was perusing one the other day and came across a whole bunch of WM Fan-Artikel - World Cup fan merchandise. Looks like people will buy anything if you stick a WM 2006 Deutschland logo on it. For a mere €75 you can even reserve a chunk of the grass that the final game will be played on. Sheesh.

As I was leafing my way throught the catalogue, I found a couple of things I thought the testosterone majority would enjoy.

What man in his right mind wouldn't jump at the chance to score points with this exotic beauty modeling a barely-there bra and panty set in a sizzling soccer ball print?

And if you're not drooling yet, guys, take a look a this:

Now that's what I call roasting your weenies in style!

Fine, so now the men are taken care of, but what are the ladies going to eyeball at half time? I flip through the catalogue some more and come to the conclusion that THIS is the best they can do.

100% polyester
batteries not included
clean with a damp cloth

Yep, that's right,it's an inflatable suit complete with a battery holder and a baseball cap. That is NOT what I call eye candy and I can assure you that German men (well, most of them) don't really look like that. Who in the world would buy this, let alone wear it in public? No one in my family, I can tell you, although Boy10 does think it's "kind of cool".

As you can clearly see, the ladies have been ripped off and I am NOT amused.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Your Majesty, and God save the Queen!(from having to look at pictures of German men embarassing themselves in the name of sports)


At April 21, 2006 4:37 p.m., Blogger Expat Traveler said...

yeah that is kinda funny... It's a one sided world I tell ya! No eye candy for the women...

At April 21, 2006 5:14 p.m., Blogger Ginnie said...

God save the Queen indeed! There was a long article in Europe's April 17th issue of Time at the Paris airport. Bottom line is that she's had an "enduring popularity" through thick and thin. They love her!

Great job, as always, in giving us your endearing slant on the topic du jour!

At April 21, 2006 6:32 p.m., Blogger lily b said...

Judging from my enormous snort at the last photo, I am amused. I'll be laughing at that all day. Can you imagine having to sit next to that guy at the game?

At April 21, 2006 9:04 p.m., Blogger Katja said...

I looked at the exact same catalog with my Mom last week and we were expoding with laughter after we saw the Bikini. So funny. I did enjoy the Milka Soccer Chocolates though :-)

At April 21, 2006 9:38 p.m., Blogger Angie said...

I love the grill! That is hilarious.

Here is a photo for you of the Queen with a Canadian flag. It matches her snazzy suit and hat, which are my favorite color! I hope I'm that classy when I'm 80. (I hope I'm still alive when I'm 80.)

At April 21, 2006 10:35 p.m., Blogger Haddock said...

I really do like the Queen (I saw her once in London and I have also met and chatted with her son Andrew several times when I was in the Falklands).
She might like the German footy stuff as she is from the Hannover bloodline (changed to Windsor because of the 2 wars).
I like the footy bikini, but I'm not sure they would have it in my size! :)

At April 21, 2006 10:36 p.m., Blogger Cathy said...

What a hoot!
I will have to show these to my father :)

At April 21, 2006 11:44 p.m., Blogger Dixie said...

The closer we get to the World Cup, the tackier the stuff gets!

I've been digging on the Queen's birthday stuff today too. Despite my preference to the Dutch royal family, I still do like the British royals and think the Queen is the berries.

One of the sweetest things I've ever seen was at the Queen Mother's 100th birthday thing at St. Paul's and when it was over, the Queen got into her car first. Prince Andrew's older daughter gave a teensy wave as the Queen drove off and you could see her mouth "Bye, Granny!". So cute! I mean she's the Queen but she's still someone's granny!

At April 22, 2006 10:11 a.m., Blogger Just another American Expat said...

In inflatable football suite with baseball cap? What’s wrong with this picture?

At April 22, 2006 4:12 p.m., Blogger traveller one said...

As always--- you're such a hoot!

At April 22, 2006 7:30 p.m., Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

I was wondering... Orange said he preferred the girl in the bikini to the grill (liar!) Can you send me the catalogue and I'll try to find something in his size and make him wear it during the WM?? If I can get him in it, I'll blog it!

At April 22, 2006 9:34 p.m., Blogger mar said...

I can't believe those items! I must admit the teenager has two WM t-shirts and I wore a wm hat while skiing ...I am slowly catching up, got back in one piece :)

At April 22, 2006 11:02 p.m., Blogger Clarity25 said...

Those pictures had me laughing. I was surprised at how HUGE soccer was in Germany. It's a sport that's hard to avoid here. It's EVERYWHERE.

Thanks for the Anniversary greetings. I hope you have a great weekend:)

At April 22, 2006 11:06 p.m., Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Oh, come one, that guy is hot!

At April 23, 2006 7:27 a.m., Blogger Karen said...

Thanks for the giggles :-)

At April 23, 2006 11:14 a.m., Blogger Claire said...

Oh God . . . cannot stop laughing . . . okay.

My friend from Ottawa always talks about the Queen. Evertime I hear "Queen of Canada," it sounds a bit fake.

At April 23, 2006 1:20 p.m., Blogger jen said...

uh, what's the battery holder for? A battery holder in the one thing they have for women? Maybe its better than we think...

At April 23, 2006 2:21 p.m., Blogger cncz said...

at the beginning of the post, i thought you were going to talk about the picture of Angela Merkel's bum. Don't know why.

Have you seen the ads with Mr Switzerland and some cows where they are trying to get women to come here the summer while their menz are at the World Cup?

At April 23, 2006 7:51 p.m., Blogger cmhl said...

hahah! I like hte grille..

At April 24, 2006 1:33 a.m., Blogger Mike B said...

I thought we got all of the Catalogues, but apparently not.

Like the bikini babe, but that grill ... Ooh, lah, lah. World cup fever has arrived.

At April 24, 2006 8:05 p.m., Blogger christina said...


At April 25, 2006 4:31 a.m., Anonymous Finlander said...

Did those expected 40,000 voluntary and involuntary prostitutes arrive for the football championships already? It's the second biggest sporting event in the world by athletes and the biggest by spectators, if you count, as you should, this kind of extra curriculum activity as a sport.

Guess where this boy is going next week? VANCOUVER and VICTORIA, that's where I am going! Nana naana, nana naana , hey hey, good bye!

At April 25, 2006 4:36 a.m., Anonymous Finlander said...

Oh, and I forgot to tell you that Vancouver Knuckle Heads didn't make it to play offs.

At April 25, 2006 8:54 a.m., Blogger christina said...

expat - It's just not fair, is it?

ginnie - Oh yes, the Queen is very well loved by a lot of people.

lilyb - I know! Can you imagine if a bunch of guys got dressed up like that? Think they'd let them into the stadium.

Katja - Well yeah, chocolate anything is good. :-)

Angie - Isn't she just the cutest thing? I love her matching outfits.

haddock - She's a lovely woman. I have great respect for how she's held up with all the "troubles" within the family. I saw her arm waving from a limousine once. :-)

Cathy - Hope your dad got a good laugh too!

Dixie - Queen Beatrix is a hoot! I love her too. And I guess behind the scenes the royal family is just like any other family. I love how they still call the Queen "Lillebet".

JAAE - The baseball cap is just so wrong.

traveller one - Anything to make you laugh. :-)

canadianswiss - We'll definitely want to see pictures if you order something!

mar - Well, our youngest has a track suit and some WM undies, so we're not doing too badly either. :-)

clarity - Oh yeah, soccer is THE sport here and this event is getting everyone all excited.

mr. fab - Somewho I knew you'd say that. ;-)

Karen- You're welcome!

Claire - Queen of Canada does sound kind of weird. I don't think people say it all that often. We just call her "the Queen".

jen - Nothing as exciting as that. The battery holder is to hold the batteries for the fan that inflates the suit.

cncz - LOL! I didn't even know about Angela Merkel's bum until I looked it up yesterday. The German press apparently declined to post pictures, which was very nice of them, I thought. Haven't seen the Swiss ads yet.

cmhl- The grill is just so manly, isn't it?

mike b - Yes, people are working themselves into a frenzy over this. They'll be playing a couple of games in Hannover so it's going to be nuts around here.

Ah, the finlander is now making the rounds. How nice.

At April 25, 2006 12:42 p.m., Blogger CanadianSwiss said...

I can assure you, if I do order, I'll post ;-)

I thought Finlander wasn't into blogging. He seems to have found a a new pastime, though.


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