Wednesday, December 07, 2005

time to put away the flip flops

My brother in Vancouver just sent me this. (Psst! - I think it's a joke)


Vancouver (Reuters)

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional 1/4 centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the Lower Mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in.


With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi and the threat of frozen breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

7 Comments:

At December 07, 2005 12:18 PM, Blogger Homer said...

Ha! That sounds about right!

If I saw 2mm of white powder over the Lower Mainland, I'd probably think a drug den in Richmond had exploded.

Mountain Equipment Co-Op, how I miss thee.

 
At December 07, 2005 2:22 PM, Blogger Betty said...

I'm thinking that if you have down-filled bras, you don't need breast implants.

 
At December 07, 2005 2:25 PM, Blogger Cathy said...

Christina;
No, I think it's quite accurate! West coasterners are not the hardy types like us east coasters! ;)

 
At December 07, 2005 4:34 PM, Blogger Expat Traveler said...

Funny excerpt.

I've only lived in Switzerland and the West Coast. What I complain about is driving with summer tires in the winter and a car that its breaking sucks. Too bad it's a work car and I don't have control over what I do with it. That's how I don't like it when it snows in Vancouver.

I think it's pretty warm here in Vancouver because I haven't really told myself I'm insane for not wearing thermals underneath my jeans and wanted to wear my down jacket. But I still enjoyed the added sun California and Hawaii give off in these winter months.

People complain here in Vancouver, but I'd love to see this happen in California. You think there is panic here, but there it would call for all businesses to be shut down for the day and school to be cancelled. Everything and everyone would be a complete state of really not knowing what to do.

 
At December 07, 2005 4:38 PM, Blogger Expat Traveler said...

Funny excerpt.

I've only lived in Switzerland and the West Coast. What I complain about is driving with summer tires in the winter and a car that its breaking sucks. Too bad it's a work car and I don't have control over what I do with it. That's how I don't like it when it snows in Vancouver.

I think it's pretty warm here in Vancouver because I haven't really told myself I'm insane for not wearing thermals underneath my jeans and wanted to wear my down jacket. But I still enjoyed the added sun California and Hawaii give off in these winter months.

People complain here in Vancouver, but I'd love to see this happen in California. You think there is panic here, but there it would call for all businesses to be shut down for the day and school to be cancelled. Everything and everyone would be a complete state of really not knowing what to do.

 
At December 08, 2005 10:25 AM, Blogger christina said...

Homer - yeah, well there's snow and there's snow, right? :-) MEC rules!


Betty - I dunno, once the down filled bra came off, one of the interested parties might be in for an...umm...let down. :-)

Cathy - Oh, I know! People in Vancouver really do freak out when it snows. I don't know how my brother and his family managed to get through the winter in NS.

Expat - it would be even funnier to see Californians reacting to snow.

 
At December 09, 2005 8:39 PM, Blogger Angie said...

Down-filled bras... I'm going to be laughing at that idea all afternoon! (Although it's pretty cold right now -- I wouldn't mind one.)

 

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