Friday, December 02, 2005

panda with language issues

This is my joke du jour for today, hand-picked by Boy12:

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where do you think you're going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition: "Large black and white bear-like mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."


Hee! It's always nice to start the day off with a smile, don't you think?

18 Comments:

At December 02, 2005 10:37 AM, Blogger Elemmaciltur said...

Hahahaha, that's funny....even though it's a tad macabre.

 
At December 02, 2005 10:55 AM, Blogger Léons Life said...

Did you know that this is actually the title of a book all about punctuation that tries to reeducate people like me who don't know what to do with their comas, apostrophes etc..

Look :here

Apparently depending on where you put the comma the Panda does 2 different things:

- "eats shoots and leaves " (i.e. he eats and then shoots with a gun and leaves the building )

- "eats shoots and leaves " (i.e. eats shoots (as in plant shoots and leaves (from a tree) and then leaves)

 
At December 02, 2005 11:03 AM, Blogger christina said...

Leon's life - yep, I've seen that book before. :-)
The word play and whether or not the comma is there is the whole point of the joke.

 
At December 02, 2005 11:25 AM, Blogger hippo_pepperpot said...

I almost bought that book yesterday... I need it!

Are you the one w/ the hubby that has the weather station in the window? If so... could you please tell me more about it and perhaps the best one to buy. My hubby would love one for Crimbo... but I don't know which one to buy him.

xx

 
At December 02, 2005 12:38 PM, Anonymous bangkok expat mama said...

this reminds me of the one where a tattered string wanders into a bar and something madcap (i forget what) ensues, which leads to the string responding negatively to someone else's comment by saying "i'm a frayed knot!" (i'm afraid not!"). hardy har har, but nice word play. i have the worst time remembering the jokes i've heard. this string one i heard about 15 years ago.

i loved your advent calendars! the photos reminded me to haul ours out...we're going out of town until next tuesday so we'd planned to open up the christmas storage boxes then and set up a tree, but i MUST get out the calendar tonight!

good luck finishing the scarves by the 6th!

 
At December 02, 2005 1:25 PM, Blogger christina said...

hippo - I'll get back to you on the weather thing!

bangkok mama - I've always loved that "frayed knot" joke! And I can't remember a joke for more than 5 minutes either. I rely on my husband to store them in his brain and bring one out if I need it.

I'm still knitting away...

 
At December 02, 2005 1:56 PM, Anonymous Belinda said...

I unfortunately only know the non-PG version of the same punchline lol

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway lol your version was cute :D

 
At December 02, 2005 1:59 PM, Blogger Betty said...

I look forward to having DS12 pick more jokes for you. He has a sophistocated sense of humor. Love that joke.

 
At December 02, 2005 4:00 PM, Anonymous Amber said...

Bwahahahaha!! Thanks for the laugh!

 
At December 02, 2005 5:07 PM, Blogger Expat Traveler said...

Made me smile! :)

 
At December 02, 2005 6:10 PM, Blogger euro-trac said...

Isn't it funny that we all remember the punchline for the 'frayed knot' one, but not actually the joke!? Hehe!

 
At December 03, 2005 12:35 AM, Blogger Cathy said...

I needed that! Thanks for the smile.

 
At December 03, 2005 7:25 AM, Blogger Karen said...

That was great! Absolutely - thanks for the laugh!

 
At December 03, 2005 12:08 PM, Blogger Prairie Girl said...

I think it's really cool when kids come home with these old jokes and tell them as if they're brand-new. And it is brand-new, to them (just not us ;-)

 
At December 03, 2005 12:13 PM, Blogger Prairie Girl said...

Just after I posted this comment I clicked on your link to Ada Abroad. Her current post is absolutely very funny!

 
At December 03, 2005 2:23 PM, Blogger Haddock said...

I must've lead a sheltered life as I have never heard this joke before!
It makes me laugh though :)

 
At December 03, 2005 2:23 PM, Blogger Schatzi said...

Well I never heard that one before! Cute!

 
At December 03, 2005 6:37 PM, Blogger Sparky said...

Never heard that one and loved it :).

 

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