Thursday, September 15, 2005

I have (almost) regained my composure

Aww, thanks for all the sympathy, guys. That was really nice.

What I did to get over myself:

  • camped out in the guest room for a couple of nights
  • bought myself a bunch of flowers
  • had a T-shirt printed up - "Being taken for granted since the early 90's"

Sometimes it's the people closest to you who piss you off the most, you know?

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And now for some Canadian content. I have this little book called "You Can't Do That in Canada - Crazy Laws from Coast to Coast" and I thought I'd treat you all to a small sample:

  • Be on your best behaviour if the Queen visits. Doing anything to "alarm Her Majesty" is against the law. An adult who alarms her on purpose can spend up to 14 years in prison.
  • A law was passed in British Columbia making it illegal to squeeze or "manhandle" fruit at public vending stalls unless you had already bought it.
  • Do you exercise in a way that might frighten a horse? Then you can't do it in Quesnel, B.C., without permission.
  • It is an offence to let the fish you caught in national park waters go rotten, if it was fit to be eaten.
  • Cyclists in Vancouver must paint 22.5 centimetres of their rear fenders white. That get's tricky for some cyclists, because rear fenders are not required in Vancouver.
  • Disturbing an oyster bed is a crime anywhere in Canada.
  • Being naked in your own house used to be illegal in Winnipeg unless your blinds were drawn
  • In Quebec, English signs must be no more than one-third the size of their French counterparts. This law was created to help protect the French language. A customer in Napierville may have gone too far when she said a shop was breaking the law because it showed her a parrot that could speak only English.
  • In Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, it may still be illegal to allow a chicken to cross the road.


It's off the the slammer with you, eh?

6 Comments:

At September 15, 2005 8:10 p.m., Anonymous haddock said...

I whole heartedly agree. To "alarm Her Majesty" SHOULD be against the law. But 14 years for such a crime is just TOO short! :) :)

 
At September 15, 2005 8:47 p.m., Blogger Crystal said...

Those are so funny! In Texas it's still illegal to sell/buy sex toys, seriously!

 
At September 15, 2005 9:12 p.m., Blogger Hannah said...

Shite, I never realised I was risking arrest on a weekly basis at Granville Island Public Market. It makes you wonder what people had been doing previously to make them pass that law!

 
At September 16, 2005 8:12 a.m., Blogger J said...

Glad you're feeling better.

Just curious, did you have the t-shirt printed in English or German?

 
At September 16, 2005 10:30 a.m., Blogger Elemmaciltur said...

Great to hear that you're feeling better. And yeah, it's always the people who are closest to you that can piss you off the most.

Yeah, there'll definitely be photos of me in Lederhosn. Will be getting the Hemd, Strümpfe and Haferlschuhe today....not sure whether I'd want a Halstuch or not. ;)

Hehehe, how about a picture of Mr. M in his Schützenvereinsuniform? *ebil grins*

 
At September 16, 2005 11:00 a.m., Blogger christina said...

haddock - after all the poor dear has been through, I think it would take a lot to alarm her, bless her heart.

Crystal - really? They must have a lot of cross-border traffic around those parts then, huh? :-)

Hannah - yes, I've heard that inappropriate melon squeezing is rampant in Vancouver.

J - well, it was only an imaginary T-shirt, but if I did have one done, it'd be in English. The German translation wouldn't be precise enough for my needs. :-)

elemm - wow, the full regalia! That will be interesting.
Mr. M has never been anywhere near the "Schützenverein". He's not a "Vereinsmeier" at all. But he does have some Lederhosen!

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P.S. My word recognition word is "pzocadoc" - sounds like some kind of new antidepressant!

 

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